Brian Ralston's
SelfTort

Lyrics

Once Is Enough
(L. Zaleta/B. Ralston)
Got a call on my cell phone
From some guy named Ponce de Leon
He said, "I'm telling you the truth,
I have found the Fountain of Youth”

“I have the Eternal Fountain
Now, you too can be young again"
I said "I won't go back to when
I was twenty but I acted like ten"

He said, "You’ve got to try this stuff!"
I told him growing up was rough.
Growing up was so damned rough
That I'm sure that once is enough.

I’m trying to be nice,
Please don’t make me say it twice
Once is enough,
I’m trying to be nice,
Please don’t make me say it twice
Once is enough

Just about then, my doorbell rang,
Joe and the Over the Hill Gang
Are standing right there upon my porch,
Holding up the Olympic torch.

"We have the Eternal Flame"
Joe told me "You can have the same"
I said, "I just won’t play that game,
Don't want to relive my past shame."

He said, "You’ve got to try this stuff!"
I told him growing up was rough.
Growing up was so damned rough
That I'm sure that once is enough

I’m trying to be nice,
Please don’t make me say it twice
Once is enough,
I’m trying to be nice,
Please don’t make me say it twice
Once is enough

Well I saw this on my computer screen:
"Try the blue pill or buy the green
We can keep you up all night
Make love till the morning light"

Well I dialed the number and I told the man
“Undying love is not my plan
At my age, when it comes to love
Believe me, Brother, once is enough!"

He said, "You’ve got to try this stuff!"
I told him growing up was rough.
Growing up was so damned rough
That I'm sure that once is enough

I’m trying to be nice,
Please don’t make me say it twice
Once is enough,
I’m trying to be nice,
Please don’t make me say it twice
Once is enough
Once is enough
Once is enough